So.....how 'bout that hug?

So, I think I already mentioned that when we arrived at the ashram, Amma was actually out on the road. The energy around the ashram was calm and peaceful as one might expect – and we assumed that this was the norm. Well I stand corrected! When we awoke on our third morning at the ashram we were greeted by a completely different set of circumstances. The tranquil atmosphere of peaceful serenity had been kicked out by a whole lot of pushing and shoving……. What? Were we still even in the ashram or had the compound been taken over by terrorists masquerading as Amma devotees? Breakfast was a zoo! By now – we had eaten several meals here and realized that our first taster from the kitchen may somehow have been a lucky break. In general the food wasn’t bad – but the 3 meals included in out ‘ticket’ were all pretty much alike – sloppy rice and some kind of potatoeish curry – occasionally spicy but more often than not kind of bland – and I don’t know about you – but for me – no matter how long I spend in India – I still just can’t quite get my head around curry for breakfast. And so – by this point we were paying the few rupees extra at breakfast (and sometimes lunch or dinner) for one of the purchasable options at the ‘western canteen’. Well – Monday morning we were shocked to find that instead of our usual 30 second wait to get served, there was actually a huge line up at the café counter. The tour had returned and there were hundreds of hungry Amma ‘roadies’ to feed. So it turns out that when Amma hits the road, most of the ashram goes with her. We hadn’t even realized that when we showed up the place had actually been almost empty. No wonder it was so peaceful! And while one might expect that since this was an ashram after all, even though the numbers increased the vibe of calm would remain, it sadly didn’t seem the case. Let’s just say that not all who reside seem to abide by the ashram code of conduct. And let’s not forget people – it is still India – where the concept of queues and orderly behavior still seem undiscovered.
Regardless of the fact that our lovely, newly found peace had been disturbed, this new pace of life did at least mean that our chances of meeting the mama had just increased by at least 50%. But we still weren’t certain of an embracing opportunity: apparently Amma was hugging on into the wee hours of Sunday before starting the 2-hour journey back home to the ashram so she was exhausted from the event and it was looking unlikely that we would see her on that first day back (Monday) – but Tuesday we felt sure we would catch a glimpse.
In the mean time, I was still helping out in the kitchen and Darko had started communication with the digital team. Since we were only planning a brief stay at the ashram it wasn’t possible for him to really get involved in any of their long term projects but since they loved his photos (he’d showed them his website of course!) he offered to provide a few hundred stock shots of India for their library should they need any general pictures for a website page etc. And when they found out we were off to Sri Lanka it was also suggested that there were ongoing projects over there that we might be able to seek out and photograph for Amma. The team seemed pretty excited about this prospect so it was discussed between the various relevant parties (including one of the top dog swami’s in the ‘shram) and a plan was hatched for us to have a private audience with Amma……wow! And we thought we’d be lucky to catch a glimpse.
Monday rolled into Tuesday and finally our first chance to get a hug was upon us. Now the normal sequence of events for a Tuesday in the ashram would be a full morning of meditation in the main temple where Amma would preside and offer some guidance as well as a little Q&A before serving lunch to all her devotees (that’s right – Amma would actually slop out the rice and dhal to those present all by herself), and then after a good bowl of grub it would be cuddle time for all the newbie’s and ashramites departing that day (this was the informal darshan session – as opposed to most other days of the week when the ashram is open for public darshan where it is actually necessary to stand in line for hours to obtain a darshan token which then allows you to stand in line for hours to hand over the token in exchange for a hug).
Well - I sat patiently in half lotus for most of Tuesday morning amongst hundreds of other hopefuls, meditating and awaiting the arrival of Amma only to be disappointed when the allotted hour of her arrival came and went without so much as an aum uttered from her being. Amma was ‘in da house’, but not ‘in da temple’. The meditation session broke for lunch (evidently not to be served by Amma) and of course, over lunch came the rumors as to why Amma was a ‘no show’ – she’d broken a rib on tour from an over zealous hugging session, a bladder infection, the flu, exhaustion…..and the list went on.
So – we headed out for some Internet action in the village over the river and decided to return by 5pm, just incase she made an appearance at the evening meditation session on the beach – of course we’d heard a rumor that she might!
At around 5.05pm we casually sauntered back to our digs to discover that the beach in front of our building was indeed a mosh pit of merry meditaters – and there before us, sitting atop the breakwater rocks all in white, with an expression of pure peace and utter tranquility was Amma. I scrambled through the crowd to find a suitable perch just along the rocks from her, facing out to sea and waited. And finally she moved, and the crowd beneath her stirred and we all hung on her every word. She spoke and her translator relayed her words in English – “Amma says you should be still and meditate……….and be careful on the rocks”. “Sit quietly, close your eyes and breath and with each breath in inhale the divine light and with each breath out exhale all negative thought and darkness”. The translators voice was rich and warm and soothing and the presence of Amma was like warm golden sun with a calm summer breeze. And then she talked about her children (us) and asked if we were not afraid of a tsunami. And people answered, telling their stories of faith and readiness to progress to another world if a wave came to take them away.
Once the Q&A was over, Amma sang a couple of devotional songs and then moved to the back of the beach where she would give darshan. And that’s when all the piety of the devotees went straight out the window. People clamored over one another to make sure they got their chance to have a hug. I swear there were more handlers there than there would have been had Michael Jackson been present and as we got closer and closer to the moment of truth I felt that little twinge of butterflies in my belly – I realized that I was a wee bit nervous – what if I messed up my hug? What if she didn’t want to cuddle me? It was just the way I felt before my very first kiss. But then I was at the front of the line and it was my turn next and before I knew it, it was all over, and I didn’t really know what had just happened. In fact it had been just like a first kiss – so much anticipated and generally a bit over-rated but at least I could say I’d been there and done that! In the final seconds before the moment of truth I was shoved into place before her by one of the handlers, and then my head was thrust down onto her shoulder by another one. I wasn’t allowed to put my arms out to embrace her – this was strictly a one way hug and what with all the pushing and shoving around me there was no chance for a moment of compassion or a sensation of ‘love’ to reach me. As I backed away from Amma she handed me a little package – which turned out to be a little candy wrapped in a tiny envelope of ash, and I tried to interpret the message she’d muttered into my ear. It sounded a lot like ‘my daughter, my daughter, my daughter’, which made sense, as she feels like a mother to all of her followers – but I couldn’t be sure. Now, I’m not saying I didn’t like my hug – but it certainly wasn’t quite what I had expected. It was all just too rushed and almost a touch on the aggressive side for me. I left the beach feeling slightly deprived by the whole experience – like going to the prom with a date but leaving early because my date ended up ditching me for the prom queen. What more can I say – it was an anti-climax. Having said that I did enjoy the tone of her lovely husky voice in my ear!!!
After the darshan was done she was whisked back to the main hall of the ashram for bharjans (devotional singing) and then she was spirited away, as mysteriously as she had arrived in our midst.
And the mystery of whether or not she would surface the next day was still circulating after dinner that night, as Darko tried to ascertain whether or not we could meet with her regarding his potential photographic assignment in Sri Lanka. We would just have to wait and see.
Next morning the official word on the street was still ‘no word’ but then at 11am she showed up to bless a wedding and the darshan session for the day began. We’d been given the heads-up that 2pm might be our window of opportunity for a quick word – but it didn’t seem likely. I left Darko to finish up some bits and bobs while I headed back to the room to pack and when he still hadn’t showed up half an hour later I started to wonder where he’d got to. All of a sudden a breathless Darko flung open the door, grabbed my arm and pulled me to the stairs – we were about to be presented to Amma. Our ‘private meeting’ was actually going to happen in the midst of her public darshan – so I wasn’t quite sure how it would work but when we arrived in the hall we were fast tracked right to the front where the IT project co-ordinator explained briefly to Amma who we were and what Darko was offering to do. She spoke rapidly in response and then we were on our knees before her for our second chance at a snuggle. Darko got a quick one to himself (being the photographer extraordinaire) and then I joined in for a bit of group hug action. And this time I wasn’t disappointed. I don’t know how to explain what happened because it was still over almost as fast as the hug the day before – but this time – maybe it was because we were down on our knees – maybe there was more of a personal connection – but I really felt her projecting her love on to us both. And as we broke from the hug, I don’t know if we had funny looks on our faces, or she just wanted to give us something more – but she looked at us and laughed. And it was such a free and loving laugh – a laugh that a mother might give to a child that has just said something funny for the first time – or taken it’s first steps – but it was a moment that we shared and it was beautiful. As we walked away, sucking on the tasty piece of chocolate she had hand fed to us we both felt a wonderful glow. I was so happy I’d got a second chance. That first hug had been such an anti-climax. I’d wanted it to be good. I’d wanted to feel more, something, anything. But this hug. Now this hug – was a good hug, and one that definitely left me wanting more. So, I can certainly see why thousands of people choose to stick around for a regular dose of fine mama lovin’ and become permanent residents of the ashram. But for us it was to be our fond farewell.
After our hug the IT coordinator translated for us – Amma was grateful for the offer – but didn’t feel that it would be safe for us to head off into the boonies of Sri Lanka to snap a few shots – she asked that we be careful there and be safe. And so – although we won’t be on assignment for Amma after all, it sure was a great way to get a very public ‘private audience’ with a saint in the making and I sure won’t mind coming back for another one some day, if the opportunity ever arises.
But for the record: I still think I’d beat her in a ‘hug off’. Common – you all know it. My hugs rock!
Coming Soon: Carrie’s darshan tour – Vancouver, July 2010! No tokens required!

Time for a quick hug?

So who wants a hug? Personally I like a good hug. I’ve always been a hugger. On and off throughout the years I’ve come across lots of other people who like to give and receive hugs too but more often than not people actually feel pretty uncomfortable with that and as I get older, it seems to get less and less cool to hug. In polite company people shake hands. Or sometimes just a nod of the head will do. In India, the quirky head wobble is king. Along with a smile, a head wobble can work wonders to unlock a suspicious stare from the quiet local villagers in the sleepy backwaters of Kerala where we now find ourselves – but a hug – well for many the physical intimacy of a hug is just way too much to deal with. I wonder why – because let’s face it people: a hug can heal the world.
This morning I have woken up to my first real morning in India. At least, I should say, the India that I really came looking for. Today we find ourselves in one of the spiritual centers of India. And as I write this, in my mind’s eye I can actually see some of you shaking your heads and scoffing while you read on, at the fact we chose one of the most commercial and westernized versions of this part of India to visit – but to you I say – ‘So what? You should come and check it out too and maybe you wouldn’t be so quick to dismiss what goes on here’.
Yesterday we arrived at the Ashram of Amma – the hugging Mother. And what can I say? Our spirits have lifted just being here. Mama is unfortunately ‘away on business’ – giving out free hugs out of town – but she will be back. We had originally planned just a quick overnight stay to see what all the fuss was about – but the instant we arrived we felt an overwhelming sense of calm and welcoming. And I actually felt sadly disappointed that we were going to miss Amma by only a day or 2 – so since we had the time – we decided almost instantly to stick around and wait for Amma to return. I mean – I came all this way – it would be silly not to stick around for a hug. And if the place feels this good in her absence – just imagine how good it’s going to feel when the mama is actually ‘in da house’! So far in her 50 something years, Amma has hugged over 28 million people – and in a few days I will be one more. And since I am a fan of the hug, neigh – one might say a bit of a connoisseur of hugs. A discerning hugger, who prides herself on her hugging skills and one who is quite fussy about the quality of hugs given in return I am definitely more than a bit excited to get a good cuddle from the ultimate hugger of all time.
If you’ve never heard of Amma, then do a little research and you’ll find she’s actually quite well known! Her humanitarian efforts are nothing less than astounding. She has donated millions of dollars to numerous disaster relief funds all around the world, from helping out on her own doorstop when she helped to rebuild after the tsunami (her own Ashram having been right in the midst of the danger zone), to sending assistance to New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina. And her philosophy is simple: the world can be healed through love. And so – with her heart full of love and compassion she hugs the whole world, one person at a time.
Most days that Amma is in residence at the Ashram she holds ‘Darshan’ (hugging) sessions. We arrived on a Saturday with high hopes of a hugging opportunity within the next 24 hours, only to discover that she was on the road until Monday – so our first chance of a hug would probably not arise until Tuesday. Well – we liked it here. So we thought: ‘what the heck – let’s stay!’

And it’s not like getting here was a chore.

After a couple of lovely relaxing days in a gorgeous little home stay in Kumakoram (where we had an opportunity to explore the most quiet and remote of the backwaters, where only the smallest of boats and canoes can gain access),

we set off by chugging wooden ferry boat to Alleppey, often referred to as the Venice of the East. Now I have to say that I think this claim is pretty damned preposterous. If you’ve been to Venice I think you’ll agree it truly is one of the most magnificent and romantic cities on the planet and it’s pretty safe to say that nothing in India even gets close to it – I mean it’s not even in the ballpark of the comparison world. Sure there are a couple of canals around town, and the odd pigeon here and there, but that is where the similarity ends. Regardless though of this poorly suited comparison, it actually wasn’t a bad stop off point for a night.
Our hotel was brand new, reasonable priced and the bed had the first real mattress we’ve come across in India, which meant we both got a great night’s sleep for a change.

From Alleppey we took another fabulous, chugging ferryboat ride along the main canal of the backwaters heading to Kollam, and jumped off here at the ashram before reaching the ferry’s final destination. The ride was a beautiful and calming journey: It allowed us to glimpse through a window back in time leaving us with a sense of the joy to be found in the simple things in life.

After the ferry dropped us at the main pier we simply crossed the canal by rowboat to reach the ashram side of the river, where we entered the alley leading to the main temple. Finally we had arrived!
We were checked in by one of the many ‘western’ residents of the Ashram, a friendly American chap dressed all in white (as most of the inhabitants are) who took our passports and told us that for the tiny sum of 150rps each a night we would be given a room and 3 meals a day. We were off to a great start. After picking up our sheets for a small deposit we followed the little hand drawn map our new friend had made for us to find the Ayurveda building, where most of the short term guests are housed – which happens to be some of the most prime real-estate on the compound: a beach front location with rooms overlooking the ocean. It turned out that we had somehow managed to score the penthouse – a room on the top floor of the building with a small balcony and a million dollar outlook. The room itself was simple – with a minimum of furniture and only a thin mattress for sleeping – but it was clean and sufficient for our needs.
At 5pm we attended a tour of the ashram where we had the chance to view a short DVD about Amma and some of her achievements, which was actually quite moving. To see all the good that she has done in the world and understand her unfailing spirit of goodwill was truly humbling and definitely inspired a greater desire in me to meet her. Then we were given a guided tour around the facilities and shown the main temple areas, the home where her parents live (which Amma built for them on the edge of the compound as a gift to her father who had always dreamt of living in a big house), and the simple room where she stays when she is ‘home’.
We didn’t have long to wait until it was time for dinner and as we stood in line for our serving of rice and curry I was intrigued to see what they would produce. I was pleasantly surprised to find that dinner was indeed quite tasty and felt certain that I could indeed get used to this. After a quick slice of yummy chocolate and raspberry cheesecake (for an extra fee of 25rp) from the ‘western café’ it was time to stop by the Ashram store to pick up some basic supplies and head back to our room for an early night – just incase we wanted to be up for the 5am devotional singing or the 6am fire pujas. It didn’t seem likely today – but we thought; ‘you never know!’ Even though we did know: not bloomin likely!
Finally we have found a place where Darko feels at home – which is nothing less than amazing really when you consider how much he dislikes most of India not to mention his distinct aversion to anything faith based or religious in tone. I have a sneaking suspicion that his sense of belonging here might have more than a touch to do with the fact that it feels a little bit like being on a cruise ship: Check-in, orientation tour, set dinner time served in a mess like environment. Heck – they even keep our passports for safe keeping until we sign off – I mean – check out. And when Amma returns it’s going to feel like the cruise director finally showed up! But hey – I’m not complaining. He’s smiling and looks a lot like a happy man today – so I’ll go with it.
The daily life and routine of an ashram is simple really. People living and co-operating together to provide a safe and calm environment in which they can pursue whatever personal mission they chose. Mostly there is a spiritual element to the journey of the inhabitants here and in the case of Amma’s ashram there is a distinctly Hindu theme, since this is the religion into which she was born and raised. But Amma herself makes no distinctions or discrimination based on religious affiliation. People of all races, nationalities and religions are welcome at the ashram and there are some amazing projects underway here.
Most of the long term residents take part in the daily cycle of devotional singing and prayer, twice daily meditation and offer at least a couple of hours of their time to perform seva or ‘selfless service’, which ensures the smooth running of the ashram. I myself was a grade A baker’s assistant for 2 hours this morning, happily chopping Almonds for biscotti, icing chocolate cake and fetching baked loaves from the main bakery to be stored for tomorrow’s breakfast. Some of the ‘inmates’ as we are officially titled have taken vows of silence, many for undetermined periods, so although there is most definitely a gentle hubbub of chitchat at meal times in general the surrounding atmosphere is one of peace and quiet. Now I’m not saying I’m ready to move in permanently or anything, but I will admit – I could easily get used to this!
It never ceases to amaze me though, that even in such pious surroundings as these; there are still the daily dramas and politics of life unfolding. In my brief stint in the kitchen I witnessed not one but two or three little outbursts of distress and strife, caught the edge of tense moments of conflict between co-workers and overheard snippets of ‘gossip’ being shared amongst fellow kitchen hands over the policies and procedures in place at the ashram. My chief baker herself has been living at the ashram for 6 years, originally from Canada and apparently has no wish to be anywhere other than here. It’s fairly accurate to say that ‘quirky’ would be a good word to describe her and I certainly found it mildly amusing that when I said something in passing about TV, for a moment I thought I was actually going to have to explain what a television set was to her, as she looked quite befuddled by this odd combination of the letters T and V being used in conjunction as a label for some object unknown to her.
Later today, Darko is meeting with the project manager for one of the ongoing efforts of the ashram, which is attempting to build multi-media presentations for schools and farmers in the community. They hope to provide better education and training about ecologically sound agricultural methods – to help protect the environment and so Darko is hoping to offer some technical assistance in the IT and digital areas. So I chop almonds for biscotti and Darko helps to save the planet……. And whose idea was it to come here? Well anyway, I’m just happy we have both found a way to get involved without cleaning toilets and I’m looking forward to my hug……… And he says my stories never have a punch line!